[13] This is Why You Like to Suffer

"Until you make the unconscious, conscious, it will rule your life and you will call it fate."

I’ve gone through life thinking that I know what I want. I want the good things to happen to me, and I don’t want the bad things to happen to me.

But what if bad things in my life came about because I like it that way?

It’s a strange concept to think about, but, what I’ve found is that pain and suffering can be addictive. Suffering is a part of the human experience and the more I tuned into how I chose to feel in specific moments, the more I realized I was choosing to suffer and stay in my suffering, but I didn’t really know why.

I want to make a quick note that I’m not invalidating suffering. Again, it’s part of our experience as humans, and some of us have gone through atrocities that are unfathomable. But suffering at its root is a reaction to events that unfold.

Victimization, suffering, pain, can all bring us a sense of importance and significance. As children, often it’s our crying and pain that would draw attention from others. And as we grow into adults we find other ways to bring meaning to our existence through our struggles.

So, while our conscious selves don’t want the bad stuff in life, we often end up getting the opposite because of the unconscious patterns we’ve learned as a child, or through experiences in our lives that create repressed feelings and our ego finds these patterns highly addictive.

What your unconscious wants, it gets. You are not who you think you are!

Take a look at what you currently have in your life, and know that that’s what your unconscious wants, whether you classify it as good or bad.

"One does not become enlightened by imagining figures of light, but by making the darkness conscious."

Instead of repressing and numbing the senses of wrongness in your life — and what you think you don’t want — come to terms. Accept yourself wholly. You are a complicated being with a spectrum of desires. You don’t have to only want good things. On some level, you want bad things, whether you know it consciously or not.

So think about this: What situations or patterns in your life seem to show up frequently that you think you don’t want, but you may unconsciously be bringing into your life?

Give yourself permission to be shameless, and open the communication between your unconscious and conscious. This will greatly increase your individual agency and awareness. Find pleasure and acceptance knowing you have an open mind to wanting bad things, and that will help you actually choose them or not.

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The Sunday Ain't Scary podcast is the show dedicated to those addicted to living outside of their comfort zone, obsessed with designing a life of freedom, and who choose to make every day count, because they know... Sunday Ain't Scary.⁣

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